Marriage Roles

Roles that change once you get married:

·         Sharing time between in-laws

·         Daily routines or personal habits (Eating habits)

·         Sharing EVERYTHING!

·         Sleeping habits (going to bed and waking up at the same time)

·         Gender expectations

·         Birth Control (which type to use)

·         Decision Making

·         When you become married or engaged they become your best friends.  You need to let go of all your opposite gender friends.  It’s a serious boundary issue when you are too friendly with the opposite gender while married.  When you cannot draw those clear boundaries that person is not ready for marriage.  It gives people an emotional connection when talking to the opposite sex.  Don’t think you can get around it.

Marriage and Relationships

There are four steps toward marriage:

1. Dating

2. Courtship (dating exclusively) - Do we fit in a way that we are ready for marriage?

3. Engagement

4. Marriage

We need to make distinct steps for a healthy marriage instead of sliding through the steps.  While dating we should have fun and date lots of people. While dating we should take into account R.A.M. (Relationship attachment model).  We must know someone to trust them.  Trust them to rely on them.  Rely on them to commit to them.  And lastly commit to them to touch them.  Doing these steps will help us have and commit to a healthy relationship.  

Understanding Same-sex Attraction

In class we have been discussing same-sex attraction.  After watching videos and reading articles on same-sex attraction it has opened up my understanding a little bit more. Boys may have a little more interest in feminine things.  They grow up thinking they are gay because they might have been called a ‘fag’ or ‘sissy’ and people begin to judge them.  Their parents take their child’s good qualities and throw them out of proportion to make them look terrible.  These boys just want to feel like they belong and want to hang out with other boys.  Their body responds positive to a guys touch and they start to think they have been attracted to boys all along.  They may also have been molested and their body responds positively to that and they thoughts become confused.  This can be a possibility of why someone will turn to same-sex attraction as an answer. 

If we take our children’s qualities and turn them into positive attributes it can help to avoid confusion in the future for our children.  We need to love our children and help them understand these positive responses our body makes are healthy, but not to get them confused with wrong types of intimacy.      

Are all cultures equally valid?

In class we have been discussing whether we agree if each and every culture is valid.  We also had to write a post and come to class prepared to discuss.  In my post I said that each culture is different from another.  I still see this as true, but my view has changed a little.  Cultures have more similarities than we think; we may just show them in different ways.  For example, when traveling to Samoa I noticed how different things were from the U.S.  Now thinking about it, we are more similar than different.  We show love just like they do.  We may show it in a different way, but there still is the emotion of love.  By showing this emotion in a different way is what makes cultures so unique.  We are blindsided by how different we think it is, but we are forgetting to think how similar each culture is.