Outcome of the Blog

Writing all these blogs has helped me immensely in class.  It has helped me by looking over my notes from the previous week and summing up what we talked about and what I learned from the lesson.  The blogs also helped me to see other student’s thoughts and feelings of different topics we discussed.  Overall I think the blog was a great idea.

Blended Families

We have been discussing blended families in class and the challenges that may come with these types of families.  When couples separate men are usually the first ones to get married.  Women are the ones that usually have a little bit more difficult time getting re-married when they have kids in the home.  Seventy percent of women are the ones filing for divorce most often.  When spouses do split up boys ten to fair worse than girls.  Boys are also more likely to push boundaries with their parents.  When people re-marry they may marry into a blended family.  The biological parent of a child is the ones that should hold all of the heavy discipline.  The step-parent should act like an uncle or aunt to the children.  Parents should always remember to conference behind closed doors.   Typically, it takes about two years for a blended family to reach normalcy.

Active Parenting

In a video by Michael Popkins we learned that balise has two meanings 1. The bottom of the boat which is weighed down or stabilized so the boat does not tip over. 2. That which gives stability to character.  There are four things we need to balance our character.

·         Courage: cour means strengthening of the heart.

·         Responsibility: the ability to respond.  Choices vs. consequences.

·         Cooperation: to work together.

·         Respect: to esteem.

When we use these four attributes to teach our children, while parenting, it can help to balance their character.  How we respond to our children and NOT react will determine what they learned from the experience, especially in the future. The way we teach our children now will determine their future.     

Family Dinner

     Women were put into the workforce during WWII because businesses were in need of employees.  After WWII was over, women liked the feeling of independence and earning a little extra cash for their own use.  When both parents work in the family unit there is less family togetherness, like eating dinner together.  Eating together can be a very intimate thing.  Families that eat together contribute to less criminal activity, premature sex, etc.  Family dinner is a time to share about daily experiences and what went good or bad in each other’s day.  Eating together brings a bond between children and parents that may only happen when families eat together.  I have noticed how family dinner has changed my family and have seen how my brothers and sister have implemented in their own families.  They converse about their days and also plan future activities together.  My siblings have a stronger bond with their spouses and also with their children because of eating together as a family.     

Family Council

We are asked to have a family council at least once a week with our spouse and/or children. 

The council process is:

·         Council in a group

·         Speak openly

·         Be frank with each other

·         Come to a consensus after a discussion

·         Align our will with Heavenly Fathers

·         Express love and appreciation

I like how Elder Ballard put it “There has never been a time when the world was in greater need of the strength and security that are best sown and cultivated in the deep, fertile soil of family love.  Successful families have a wide assortment of tools, and one of the most useful tools is family council.”

The concept of family council strengthening the family and bringing them closer together has remained true in my life.  Although my family and I do not council every week we would do it at least once or twice a month.   There are times when it is only my parents and I or the entire family all together around the table, but every time we do family council I feel closer to my family and a stronger bond with each one of my siblings and parents.

Change your challenges into opportunities

When handling a danger or crisis our brain can only thing of that one situation.  It is very wise to take a step back and think of that situation.  This helps us to realize not just our situation, but also others around us.  When being mindful we first need to notice what we are thinking.  Second, assess our thoughts.  Are these thoughts good or bad and will they change us for the better?  Lastly, change what you are thinking.  If you can change your mindfulness, you can change your life and your will be happier.  If we could change our challenges into opportunities we would all be so much happier and live a more fulfilling life.  

Marriage Roles

Roles that change once you get married:

·         Sharing time between in-laws

·         Daily routines or personal habits (Eating habits)

·         Sharing EVERYTHING!

·         Sleeping habits (going to bed and waking up at the same time)

·         Gender expectations

·         Birth Control (which type to use)

·         Decision Making

·         When you become married or engaged they become your best friends.  You need to let go of all your opposite gender friends.  It’s a serious boundary issue when you are too friendly with the opposite gender while married.  When you cannot draw those clear boundaries that person is not ready for marriage.  It gives people an emotional connection when talking to the opposite sex.  Don’t think you can get around it.

Marriage and Relationships

There are four steps toward marriage:

1. Dating

2. Courtship (dating exclusively) - Do we fit in a way that we are ready for marriage?

3. Engagement

4. Marriage

We need to make distinct steps for a healthy marriage instead of sliding through the steps.  While dating we should have fun and date lots of people. While dating we should take into account R.A.M. (Relationship attachment model).  We must know someone to trust them.  Trust them to rely on them.  Rely on them to commit to them.  And lastly commit to them to touch them.  Doing these steps will help us have and commit to a healthy relationship.  

Understanding Same-sex Attraction

In class we have been discussing same-sex attraction.  After watching videos and reading articles on same-sex attraction it has opened up my understanding a little bit more. Boys may have a little more interest in feminine things.  They grow up thinking they are gay because they might have been called a ‘fag’ or ‘sissy’ and people begin to judge them.  Their parents take their child’s good qualities and throw them out of proportion to make them look terrible.  These boys just want to feel like they belong and want to hang out with other boys.  Their body responds positive to a guys touch and they start to think they have been attracted to boys all along.  They may also have been molested and their body responds positively to that and they thoughts become confused.  This can be a possibility of why someone will turn to same-sex attraction as an answer. 

If we take our children’s qualities and turn them into positive attributes it can help to avoid confusion in the future for our children.  We need to love our children and help them understand these positive responses our body makes are healthy, but not to get them confused with wrong types of intimacy.      

Are all cultures equally valid?

In class we have been discussing whether we agree if each and every culture is valid.  We also had to write a post and come to class prepared to discuss.  In my post I said that each culture is different from another.  I still see this as true, but my view has changed a little.  Cultures have more similarities than we think; we may just show them in different ways.  For example, when traveling to Samoa I noticed how different things were from the U.S.  Now thinking about it, we are more similar than different.  We show love just like they do.  We may show it in a different way, but there still is the emotion of love.  By showing this emotion in a different way is what makes cultures so unique.  We are blindsided by how different we think it is, but we are forgetting to think how similar each culture is.   

“…the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

-The Family: A proclamation to the world.

Families are someone we may turn to at the end of the day that will take us in when no one else will.  Families give us different emotions of love, hurt, comfort, well-being, and a sense of satisfaction.  There are boundaries with family members that are clear, rigid, poor, or even diffused.  These boundaries help us to distinguish where we stand with another person.  Once we understand these boundaries we may can help better our relationships with family member and even fix broken relationships. 

Life Lessons

Let us continue, brethren and sisters, to work in the name of the Lord our God; gathering wisdom and intelligence day by day, that every circumstance which transpires may minister to our good and increase our faith and intelligence
-President Lorenzo Snow

This quote reminded me of the Learning Model we had to talk about for class.  Knowledge is something that I am very grateful that I can obtain each and every day through going to school, church, or just life in general.  I have learned lots through my parents.  They have been great examples in my life and have taught me all of lives little lessons.  I am grateful to have them in my life and look forward to the lessons I will keep learning from them.

Just started my blog for Family Relations class!  Here I will talk about what I am learning in the class and apply it to my daily life.